Congrats America, you've made me completely apathetic. I don't care about your problems anymore. I don't care about your thoughts on gun control. I don't care about your marches. I'm officially immune to your political opinions which you want to jam down my throat every time I open my computer, turn on the TV, or hop on a social media app. To put it bluntly: I don't give a shit.
You can argue on twitter about Trump's new wall or you can post a 6 paragraph thesis on Facebook about the importance of calling your local representative...But I won't read it. Go ahead get angry and leave comments under a political story on Huff Post while working yourself into a frenzy. But I'm going to gloss right over your opinion...because I just don't care.
Maybe its pessimism or maybe it's fatigue, but I'm over America. And by that I mean I'm over the people of this country. A country that is full of citizens so quick to judge, so quick to label, and who think that life's issues are all black & white. Every week on Twitter strangers label me things like a "liberal pussy rom LA" or a "racist Trump supporter." And because of what? Because of a stupid joke. A joke I wrote in a measly 140 characters. This apparently gives you enough evidence to label me a Republican or Democrat.
That is what's wrong with America. We have no sense humor. We can't even laugh anymore. We can't laugh that our President once competed in Wrestlemania. We can't laugh that a 9 year old boy started a fire and said "screw the president" during a live Fox News broadcast. Everything has to be serious. It has to be one side or the other. It has to be black and white. You're either on this side or this side, there's no middle ground.
Well that's not how I live my life or how I view the world, so I'm over it. I no longer care about your opinions. They mean nothing to me, not a goddamn thing. So when Trump signs some executive order I'm just going to read the news and formulate my own thoughts - just as I did under President Obama, President Bush, President Clinton etc...And I'm going to stick with what I know - writing and telling jokes. When you're too dumb to take a joke personally about your team, favorite player, or President, well that's on you. I'm not going to respond to your stupidity or absent sense of humor. I'm a comedian, a writer, and a podcast host. So if you want to label me a racist, mysogynist, cuck, or transphobe I'll let it go in one ear and out the other...because I'm over America. I'm over the meaningless fighting and online bickering that literally goes nowhere.
So while America is arguing in every bar, restaurant, and Facebook post I'm going to enjoy my life. I'll be on a bike ride or watching the sunset across the Pacific ocean. Sure that might make me a basic white girl, but it makes me happy. It also makes me happy to write, perform, and tell jokes. So I'll try my damnest to do that every single day. But, I simply won't care about America. I'm going to care about myself for awhile. I'm going to do what makes me happy. So you can march, protest, or argue all night long. But, I'm going to sit this one out because I'm exhausted and need a break. So have at it America, keep labeling each other and losing sleep over things that you'll never change, I'll be at home watching animal documentaries on Netflix while I doze off into a blissful night of sleep.