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80s Movies Were the Best

I can’t deny it any longer…I officially love 80s movies. In the last few months I’ve finally come to terms with my infatuation and deep appreciation of 80s films. In fact the 80s in general was a GREAT decade. I mean what’s not to love - big hair bands, classic movies, AIDS, and cocaine for everyone. Now I might be more biased because I was born at the end of 1981. But I was still only 8 years old by the time it was officially 1990. So I didn’t get to fully value a decade that brought so iconic films.

Now I’ve always had an appreciation for 80s cinema, but it’s been ramped up the last few months. My renaissance began when I started “Friday 80s Movie Nights.” And it’s just like it sounds. I stay at home on Friday and watch a classic 80s movie. Whether it’s the first three Indiana Jones movies, Romancing the Stone, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, or The Karate Kid etc…I’ve been going back and re-watching movies from childhood. And I’ve really enjoyed viewing these classics as an adult because I’m noticing things I was never privy to as a child.

As a 35 year old man I can now appreciate the many facets of the first three Indiana Jones (I won’t include that last piece of hot garbage where George Lucas and Steven Spielberg completely sold out). When I watched those films as a kid I simply could not appreciate the comedic timing, action, and classic lines of Harrison Ford. But as an adult I see how amazingly well he played he the character. I’ve also noticed other things like how rapey Indiana Jones was. Ahhhh the 80s…where the action hero could forcibly grab a female and force her to kiss him…man I miss those days.

Or how about the blatantly un-politically correct Asian stereotype of Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid. Racist - sure, but damn it was funny as hell. It’s like how Ralph Macchio says to Elizabeth Shue in the movie: “Hey it’s the 80s.” Your damn right it’s the 80s! There’s no way in hell they could make a Japanese karate teacher sound like a caricature from World War II propaganda in 2017. But who cares because Pat Morita was amazing and his perfectly timed comedic one liners as a slave driving karate teacher were spot on. Toss in the absurdity of a Vietnam veteran karate sensei teaching his students to kill and you have yourself a classic! BTW I highly recommend everyone go watch The Karate Kid 3 on HULU RIGHT NOW! The plot and writing in that flick is so absurd it might make my top 10 list of “Best Unintentional Comedies.”

Anyway, my point is that the 80s pumped out some amazing films. Films that shouldn’t be touched or recreated. Sure my nostalgia is strong and I feel like one of the memba berries from South Park. But I’m not because I don’t want these films recreated or touched. They’re great just the way the are - full of comedy, action, romance, racism, and blatant misogyny. It crushes me when Hollywood goes back and re-makes a movie. I still haven’t forgiven Will Smith for re-making The Karate Kid with his dipshit son who thinks he’s some kind of ancient Greek philosopher. So I highly recommend you turn your Friday night “Netflix and Chill” into “80s and Chill.” Order some pizza, grab your girl or guy and enjoy a wonderful decade of cinema. Hell, toss in an eight-ball of coke to make it 80s authentic and enjoy a decade that brought us nonstop movie montages and classic one liners like: “Put him in a body bad bag, Johnny.” Or you can spend $6,000 for some awful played out CGI super hero movie. But I’ll be chilling in my studio apartment enjoying a classic 80s flick and giggling to myself. Now I just need to find a girl who shares my appreciation of Pat Morita’s acting ability.

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