My first vivid Halloween memory was being a Storm Trooper. I was almost 5 years old and obsessed with Star Wars. So my dad made me a paper mache Storm Trooper mask from scratch. I was so happy and my old man did such an amazing job creating the mask. For children Halloween is such a great night. A night where you get to binge on candy while playing make believe in a costume.
Then I got to college...And Halloween turned into a night where I’d dress in some absurd costume and get completely shitfaced on cheap beer. My favorite costume was definitely the pumpkin outfit I wore sophomore year. The minute I saw the costume at Walmart I knew I had to wear it. The outfit was meant for a child. It was basically just a giant pumpkin with cheap fabric and holes for the head and arms to pop thru. The bottom of the costume was supposed to go to a child’s feet. But on a grown man it cut off a few inches above the knee.
So obviously I went totally naked underneath. The only thing separating my bare ass and junk from being completely nude was a thin piece of cloth. If the costume were lifted just a few inches my whole package would be fully exposed. Naturally word spread throughout our frat party that I was completely nude underneath. The entire night I was harassed by both girls and guys who would lift up my costume. We’d all laugh at my tiny pecker just hanging out. It was a fun night and everyone in my fraternity had a great time.
But Halloween isn’t fun anymore. Like many things in America it’s been hijacked by the social justice warriors and politically correct police. Not only is it taboo to dress in offensive and inappropriate costumes but basic outfits like dressing as a Native American or a Mexican in a sombrero are off limits for white people too. Any white person wearing those costumes would be attacked for cultural appropriation. 3 years ago if I heard the term “cultural appropriation” I would have said: “what the fuck does that mean?” But now you hear it on the reg in today’s uber sensitive society.
Wikipedia states cultural appropriation as:
“the adoption of the elements of one culture by members of another culture. Cultural appropriation, often framed as cultural misappropriation, is sometimes portrayed as harmful and is claimed to be a violation of the collective intellectual property rights of the originating culture.”
That means you can’t dress your white daughter as Moana, the Polynesian Disney character. And certainly don’t dress your white son as a Native American with face paint or a headdress.
Imagine trying to explain to your daughter that she can’t dress as Moana because it might offend people. Well, here’s something offensive to me: Telling people from a different race that they can’t adopt things from a different culture. If you ask me taking and respecting different cultures should be appreciated, not looked down upon. Your 6 year old daughter wants to dress as Moana because she likes her and enjoyed her movie character. She’s not doing it to mock her or her background. There’s a huge difference between some dumbass frat kid going in black face to a party and a 6 year old girl putting on a Hawaiian skirt and coconuts to celebrate her fave Disney character.
My first cassette tape was MC Hammer’s “Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em.” From the moment I bought that tape I’ve loved rap music. And I loved Hammer so much that my friends and I rapped his hit song “2 Legit 2 Quit” at my grade school’s Spring Concert when I was in the 4th grade. My friends and I wore jump suits, sneakers, and backwards hats. We didn’t do it to mock or “appropriate” black culture, but to show homage and respect to a music genre we loved and embraced. But sadly in 2017 this would probably be labeled cultural appropriation.
It’s pathetic and depressing when people let the PC bullies win, especially on a holiday that’s meant to celebrate, joy, laughter, and positivity. A day that lets everyone play make believe no matter age has been hijacked by a fucking agenda. Uggggggggh, it makes me sick! And this agenda is being spearheaded by people who don’t know how to have fun. So fuck them. Be who you want this Halloween, and let your kids dress however they want. Leave the PC bullshit at home and enjoy the night. And if you see me masturbating on a plant this weekend please don’t call the cops…because I’m going as Harvey Weinstein for Halloween.